March 18, 2014…

Matthew had one of his every-4-month checkups at UNC yesterday for the peanuts and we were finally given a date for open challenge.

This is both insane and awesome at the same time.  Insane because this kid that was (is?) so allergic to peanuts from a teeny tiny age is now going to have to eat peanuts in a controlled environment while I watch.  Awesome because this kid that was (is?) allergic to peanuts from a teeny tiny age is now going to have to eat peanuts in a controlled environment while I watch!

He started the peanut desensitization in March of 2009 and I remember that day so clearly because we were at Duke (the study moved hospitals part way though) and I had 2 month old Amelia with me who was still at the refusing to nurse/sleep/do anything but lay on me point in her existence.  I was beyond exhausted and stressed but there was NO WAY we could say no to this opportunity to potentially rid Matthew of this stupid ass allergy he was diagnosed with.  We rolled in and they hooked him up to IV’s and monitors to watch and see what happened while they very gradually introduced 1/3000th (approx.) of a peanut to his system.

Nearly 4 years later, he eats 4000mg (about 13 peanuts) daily in a milkshake (that he hates) and has no problem with it in terms of allergic reaction.  We don’t worry about cross contamination or decontamination or any of that these days – it’s both liberating and freaky when we’ve come off years of having to be so, so careful.  It took over a year to get him up to the 4000mg dose level, and he’s been there ever since.  His CAPRast numbers shot up after the first 6 months (which is expected) and have gradually been coming down ever since.  Yesterday’s blood draw results should be ready in a few weeks, so we will see where he is at.  I am hoping for 30’s!  (at his maximum he was almost 1400!)

March 18th will be an interesting day – one we have longed for!  After the challenge he has NO DOSES for 30 days – and then we go back again for another challenge and see what happens.

I can see the light at the end of this – and it’s a beautiful sight!




Being a mum is probably the most accomplished thing I will ever do.  It’s not all rainbows and unicorns – it’s trial and error and tears and snot (much of it mine).  
But it’s so, so good.  We learn, we grow, we fail, we try again.  Then you start to see the integrity, the joy, the hope, the willingness to step out on their own… the stuff you’ve worked so hard to support.
12 years ago I became a mum to this boy.  The 9 months preceding his arrival were easy – I had no complications and enjoyed every week.  I ran and exercised until the very last week and had a easy time getting him here.  
He is the best son you could ever hope for.  He is kind, he is mellow.  He is witty and has so much going on inside his brain that I often stare in awe.  He loves video games and soccer and hanging out with his friends.  He was so desperate for a phone but barely touches it – we haven’t hit the crazy texting stage (yet).  
He is one of a kind.  He is ours.  And we love him to the moon and back.
SugarMama in Holly Springs makes all of our cakes now – this surely tops the list in terms of creativity and detail!  She 100% matched his i touch!

Prior to cake – I took this rowdy lot for a birthday run – soccer training was cancelled due to wet fields, but we got some exercise in anyway.  They about killed me, for the record – they are bloody fast kids!  Those cutie pie girls are tough as nails and hung with them the whole way!

When he first saw his cake…  
Ooohhing and awwing over the details… 
Happy Birthday Mattie!!

When it’s just so obvious that your DNA dominates…

Last week MTB’s middle school band had their first concert of the year.  Both the strings and orchestra were fan-tastic – I mean I was blown away at how great these kids did!

I was a music girl growing up – flute to oboe.  Ken hated every nanosecond of music he had to endure!!!  MTB chose clarinet and hopes to be selected for sax in January – he’s done an amazing job thus far and works very hard on perfecting clarinet.  Here is a little video from last week – the begining was a bit rushed but even in our terrible, un-accoustic crappy old gym – they still sound pretty darn great!

Begining Band – November 15 2012

So I Should Stop Worrying…

…about middle school so far.

Also?  Ta-Ta’s checked out fine on diagnostic mammo!  YAY!


…when he wants to be.  Needs to be.  Proud to be.

June 2012 CAP RAST


Down from 220.  (34% or so drop.)


Last Night…

M and A had a soccer clinic from 7-8:15.  It was a gorgeous evening for training and M was especially stoked to get moved up with the 16 year old kids “because, Mummy, I am just that great!!”

Not said in a snotty, elitist way – but in a truly, I-believe-I-can-fly-right-now way – so full of confidence and bursting with pride at how much, much hard work and great support is paying off.

We were listening to the top 8 and 8 on some local radio station driving home, windows down and it took me back to my own early tween and teen years… summer nights listening to Madonna – these two offspring of mine love music and know all the words (eeek). 

When the number 1 song came on – I drove them around the block one more time so they could sing along to the whole song. 

These are the moments to hang on to – I hope they remember them as I will.  Clear eyes, open voices with no fear of being judged – in the moment.

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